Dear Sister: If You Only Knew

Dear Sister,

I believe the following is imperative for every girl to know. Not to hear. Not to accept. To know. To the very core of her being. A woman who truly knows these things about herself is unstoppable, I believe.

You are so beautiful.

You are so loved.

You are so cherished.

You are so worthy.

You are so valuable.

You are so valued.

If you only knew how much…

One of the hardest and most heartbreaking things about being single, especially for any length of time, is the feeling of being passed over. Of never being chosen. I have watched my male friends choose another girl over and over and thought, “I’m right here! What’s wrong with me? Why wasn’t I enough?” It’s been hurtful to the point of physical pain at times. It can be tough to feel beautiful, loved, cherished, worthy, valuable, or valued when you’re single. People can tell you that you are all those things, but you don’t really believe them. Where’s the evidence? If I’m so special, why hasn’t anyone singled me out as the kind of special they’re looking for? I know you know what I’m talking about. But God didn’t pass me over. And He didn’t pass you over.

Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)
But now this says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”

The creator crafted you. He made you uniquely and intricately and perfectly. He made you because He had an image in His mind of this wonderful woman that He wanted to love. And when you finally came to be, this God looked at the living, breathing person and said, “I want you.” He didn’t just pick you out of a lineup because you had “the right look;” He knew you and loved you and called you by name.

Zephaniah3:17 (ESV)
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Imagine that, Jehovah literally singing with joy over you! So excited about you that He must proclaim it LOUDLY! He is mighty and powerful and maybe a little overwhelmingly majestic and holy sometimes, but when it comes to you, you set Him singing. You make Him exultant! You make Him tender. He will quiet you by His love, like a mother rocking her child into quiet after they’ve been hurt. As much as you are His, He is also yours.

Song of Solomon 6:10 (ESV)
Who is this who looks down like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, bright as the sun, awesome as an army with banners?

What a genuinely shocking verse about how God views you. At least, I was shocked when I came across it. I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that this verse was written by someone in love. Absolutely gob smacked by this beautiful, bright, awesome woman He gets to call His. Would you believe me if I told you that woman is you? If you laughed that off or shook your head or even quickly said, “yes, of course. I’ve always been told that!” without really thinking about it, then I want you to stop reading now and really think about it. We’re talking about a God who deeply loves you. Who’s looking at you right now thinking about how beautiful you are. How uniquely you shine. How talented and incredibly powerful you are. Don’t shy away from that!

Having said all that, I’ve been in the place (in the past) where none of that really helped, because God didn’t just pick me. He’s chosen lots of people. I would think, “Yeah, but this is all kind of collective. He loves us, as a whole unit, this way. But I’m just kind of a toe nail somewhere in there that isn’t really the one He’s talking about.” But then I was recently thinking about the verse that says the hairs on our heads are numbered and I was blown away by how preoccupied He is with me. I lose hair A LOT. Keeping up with the current number of hairs on my head would be a full-time job. With a lot of overtime. Sis, I know you can relate to my shedding problem. So, I hope you know that you have a Father who is entirely smitten with you, to the point of tracking your hairs. Friend, if you let that God love you the way He wants to, I promise you’ll never have to wonder if you’re special. If you let Him, He’ll start to tell you what He loves about you, why He chose you, and why He loves you, and soon you’ll start to feel like the only one, like His absolute favorite. Be open to hearing that and be careful not to shut Him down because you’re afraid you’ll get an ego or something. You’ve got to let Him love you. And once you know you’re loved by God, the love of a man, while still nice, isn’t everything. And the lack of love from a man is no longer devastating.

Yours,
Allison