Impossible

I never wanted this blog to become political, and I still don’t. I have AGONIZED about whether or not to post this. This is a heated topic and I’m praying that this doesn’t come across as accusatory. But this topic has bearing on my spiritual life and the questions that I’m asking myself every day. It is what I’m going through and learning right now. And I feel like I need to post it. So here we go.

My newsfeed is currently blowing up with the abortion conversation, as I’m sure all of yours are too. Actually, I’m hesitant to call it a conversation, because both sides seem to be treating it like a tennis match rather than an attempt to come to any common ground or agreement. “There’s the ball! It’s in my court! I’m going to hit it back as hard as I possibly can. If I’m lucky I’ll score a point or maybe even do some damage to the opponent.” And I’m faced with the question: what do I do here? I’d like to help, but I’m certainly in no position to start adopting babies, and (as far as I know) don’t have any friends facing this decision whom I can directly support…so how do I react as a Christian?

It’s really an extension of the questions I’ve been asking myself for a long time. What does it actually look like to love like Jesus? What exactly should I be doing in my everyday life that sets me apart as a Christian? How do I address topics such as these, where reconciliation and compromise don’t even seem possible? I’ve come up with some really odd answers to these questions over the years. From the way I acted, it seems I used to think that I needed to kind of be joyful and live the best life possible, to promote Christianity and make it look appealing or something. Or that it was in holding the standard of truth that really mattered–living according to certain moral code and adjusting those who weren’t. So far, I have not managed to be the kind of person someone would look at and say, “If she is a Christian, then maybe there’s actually something to it.” And honestly, I’ve behaved pretty horribly to some people in misguided attempts to help them. But here’s the thing: the answer has been there all along. It’s right in the Bible, kind of on repeat.

John 13:35 (ESV)
35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

1 Corinthians 13: 1-3 (ESV)
1
 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

It’s love. Only love and always love. But what does that actually look like in my life? When this abortion melee began, I started asking myself that question. How does love look in this situation? Do I engage? I mean, it’s social media and highly unlikely that people will be receptive to much of anything. But it also doesn’t seem loving to not engage either. There should be some voices of love in the cacophony. (And I’m NOT intending to say that I haven’t seen any, just trying to find my specific place in this.) But what should I say? I’m not even really sure what side I’m on. I don’t think I’m on a side. I don’t think this issue is black and white. I think there are too many variables for any one legislation to cover. On the one hand, we’re talking human life versus freedom to choose. In no other situation would freedom of choice be given the preference. People cannot just going around killing people who cause them pain. On the other hand, there are obvious cases, where the mother’s life is in danger if she continues to carry the baby, to name one, where exceptions should be made. But I think dwelling on these arguments misses the point.

The point is, there are thousands of women out there who are hurting and scared and don’t know what to do. People in impossible situations. And as the people who they should be able to turn to for care and help, people who claim to live under a code of unconditional love, many Christians are failing them. We’re too busy arguing a point or trying to change a law to look individuals in the eye and say “I’ll love you no matter what. I’m here for you no matter what. I’d like to help in any way I can.” Please hear my heart here, I’m NOT trying to cast blame, and I know there are a TON of amazing Christians out there who are doing exactly right. I’ve not been one of them. And the perception of Christianity as a whole is spiraling.

Christians used to be known for our compassion. Christianity became the dominant religion in the Roman empire because when plagues came to a city and everyone began to flee, Christians stayed behind to care for the sick and dying, even at the cost of their own lives. When they came across the poor and neglected, even those who weren’t their own people, they cared for them. This eventually caught the attention of others who realized that this was the one and only group who actually took good care of people, and they began to respect this God Christians worshiped and this Jesus they followed. Now we’re considered haters and Bible thumpers. And to be honest, although I don’t think I’m a hateful person, I also don’t think anyone could look at my life and dismiss the accusation out of hand based on the compassion I’m exhibiting. I want to do better. Not because I think it in any way changes the way God feels about me or my standing as His child, but because He deserves to have the very best kind of representatives out there and I want to be one of them.

So here’s the deal. This is how I can see to extend love right now. It’s not the only way and I’m not even sure it’s the right way. But it’s something. If you’re reading this, and you’re in one of those impossible situations, doesn’t have to be abortion-related, and you just need someone to listen and love and don’t have someone else you trust to do that, you can email me (so I can give you my number and actually talk to you/pray with you): allisonh.328@gmail.com. I’m not a therapist or a counselor. I cannot fix your problems; I can’t even promise to be very good at this. But I believe that as a Christian, I have the capacity to love you and I have access to a God who specializes in impossible situations.

Luke 1: 37 (ESV)
37 For nothing will be impossible with God.”

6 thoughts on “Impossible

  1. What a hard topic to write about! But you’ve hit the nail on the head… Just be loving and supportive of one who’s in a very tough situation. At least take time to “write in the sand” rather than giving a knee-jerk response.
    I always love to hear your thoughts.

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  2. Thank you Allison.
    Reading this is so refreshing. I have been thinking on teaching on the love
    of God, but was not sure if that was the need. Reading your post set some things in perspective in my thinking and I now know why it’s on my heart to teach it. Sure love you
    Kevin.

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  3. Wonderful! Love heals all. Twice in my life, I had to deal with this situation and both times love conquered the hurt that was left behind. One time was for a friend that was pushed to keep a child that occurred from rape because her family was Christian and pro-life to the extreme. The child was born and was loved to the fullest by her and her husband. The other was a friend that made a mistake and there was no way for her to provide the level of care during her pregnancy and after for a child. In both cases, they both felt ashamed of what happened and the decisions that they made. Once I was able to get to the heart of the great and powerful love that God had for them hearts began to mend. It was still a struggle for both of them, but the weight of what society said about them was lifted and they were able to move on. Thank you, Allison, for your heart and the great love that you show.

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  4. We have a guidebook that shows us exactly what the Father means–it’s called the Torah. The word “Torah” is rooted in the word “yarah” which means “to teach.” And there happen to be tons of guidance that shows how a society should function and how it does function. When Yahshua said “the Kingdom is nigh thee, even at hand” THAT is what He meant. The entire manual for governance for individuals and the brethren is right there. BUT you have to believe in it. And considering that Yahshua IS the very Word, the very Torah, that’s not a so much of a stretch, now, is it?

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  5. The adversary has made this topic a Wilderness, but God’s love never fails. Every situation has it’s own individual needs. Once again, split foot has falsely narrowed the options to only two to most effectively polarize people and cause the greatest divisions. The law is for the lawless, but love is for everyone. Thanks again, Allison! Excellent perspective once again.

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  6. I read this a few days ago….and it has remained on my mind- it reminded me of something I wrote when I was the person I am trying to find again. Thank you..hope you don’t mind ….
    Regrets

    I have reached a point in my life where I can look and see, while churning in the turmoil that if I believed in regrets, there would be a few here. But I don’t believe in regrets. Regrets serve no purpose in this life. Regret to me is a disappointing decision in my own life.

    My very analytical always thinking, sometimes loudly, mind tells me that if I regret something about my life than I regret me. If I think I made a mistake (regret) than I am a mistake. I may deal with a lot of other characteristics gone extreme – but regret is not one.

    Even on days, or more like periods of time in life when it appears as if every decision creates an uncomfortable outcome – I don’t like to use the word bad – I guess I don’t believe in good or bad, right or wrong decisions. I do believe my decisions OFTEN have the opportunity to create very uncomfortable outcomes.

    I have lived through periods in my life where my every decision created unbelievably uncomfortable outcomes. I reached a point where I would not even get out of bed for fear I would have to make a decision – like answer the phone or read the mail. My choices and decisions had led me to a place where I was paralyzed in life.

    Do I have regrets, well let’s see. I can look back and see that some, even many of my choices were poor, and I also see that the person I was when I made those poor decisions is not who I am today. I am who I am largely because of those decisions.

    Therefore an armed attack on my decisions would be an armed attack on me. I am so thankful to God that He made me strong in this area because if I were not I most likely would have regretted myself to suicide.

    My faith in God tells me that….no, my faith in God has proven to me that my most ugliest moments in life were survived for a purpose. God used those times to shape my heart so that I may do His will by helping, loving people through their ugly times. Sometimes this may be a simple as not judging another’s poor decision.

    My heart was not shaped on beautiful days spent enjoying God’s creation. My heart was shaped in my most desperate, hopeless and alone moments. Do I wish that I did not have to go through them? I still can get angry and depressed or a lot of other seemingly negative feelings, but they are quickly replaced with an overwhelming feeling of love, gratitude and grace.

    Which moment in which day would I care to regret? Every moment in every day had to be just as it was for me to be who I am here and now in this moment. This moment that I will cherish.

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